It was a day of well-organised chaos, a smorgasbord of art, frivolity, hot sunshine and even hotter art bargains with plenty back-of-the-boot cocktails and booty-stage thrills to keep things lively…

WANTED… LOST GAVIN TURK MASK – REWARD – Gavin Turk wasn’t really at the 2006 Art Car Boot Fair, he was stuck in an airport on his way back from Lisbon…so at the last minute his studio assistant valiantly stood in, wearing a sackcloth and latex cast of Gavin’s face and sweltered in the 80 degree heat…our favourite Turk was there in spirit however and in the form of dental plaster casts of rich tea biscuits which were signed by his hand and bitten by his teeth. Sadly the Gavin mask went awry at the end of the day and ‘Wanted’ posters requesting its return were plastered all over the area to no avail – the mask of Gavin Turk is still at large…if you have it, please return it, anonymously if you like, via Helen or Karen…and we’ll give you something to make it worth your while…meanwhile what of our GATE-CRASHERS ?

We anticipated the odd guerrilla booter, an uninvited guest with a craftily smuggled-in box of something to flog...perhaps an opportunistic art student or two….so imagine our delight to discover that we were gate-crashed by the elegant wife of a Knight of the British Empire and her lovely daughter...not only that but the Knight in question was none other than Sir Peter Blake, granddaddy of the YBA’s, who sent his Lady down to the fair with a box of his prints…needless to say the lot went in a flash and this year we’re delighted to welcome the Blake family back as official Booters…!…and then there was the delightful Gigi Oaow of Trolley Books who pitched up with a gold plated shopping trolley full of his beautifully diverse and daring publications - a supermarket sweep for the high minded…and who caught THE CAR–TOP BAND? An enterprising posse of auto-rockers who turned up half way through the afternoon and entertained the jostling crowds at the entrance with some very catchy tunes (!).

One question which had us scratching our heads and debating into the night were the relative merits of the AMATEUR VS PRO BURLESQUERS? Well it was a toss-up (or something like that) between the amateur (and more than a little risqué) Teasemaids who made their debut at the boot fair, the divine and effortlessly professional Ms Lily White, and the inimitable (in every way) Mr Ted….but on this occasion we’ll have to give it to THE TEASEMAIDS for their thrillingly gauche bravado and the audience wide gasp they elicited when they spread their legs just after one on a Sunday lunchtime….Bravo ladies! And we weren’t surprised to hear that they took their first professional booking after such a stunning display – we can only look forward to more sauce all round in 2007.

We were gobsmacked by the seemingly endless STREAMS OF FABULOUS PUNTERS who kept coming through the gates – a teeming, steaming crowd who turned out in force on the first hot Sunday of the summer and were all so enthusiastic, up for fun and generally so good-looking! (which has led us to thinking that we must do a speed dating car in 2007…any takers???) We loved our very own ‘festival corner’, a respite from the hardcore back-of-boot bartering and flanked on one side by Nigel’s classic Routemaster ‘roller disco’ bus complete with roller girls serving cocktails, palm readers and Phil Dirtbox’s speciality bangers, and on the other by the wonderful Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club’s outdoor Karaoke area which was positively swarming with a bevy of Whoopee Club beauties aswell as various crooner wannabees!

There were BARGAINS galore! Did you get your hands on Fashion East’s exclusive t-shirt and matching mug sets from rising stars of the fashion firmament Gareth Pugh and David David (I’d hang on to them if you did), or yet more exclusive mug designs from Sarah Lucas and Olivier Garbay, or perhaps you picked up one of those heart-warming works of simple genius from Harvey Harvey (son of Marcus) who made a packet (well…a fiver) out of selling his charming little pipe cleaner men, made there and then, on the spot, to demand. Or perhaps you were quids in as one of the lucky winners of a Boudicca jacket for a mere tenner at the Black Box Mercedes?

Also spotted cavorting, bartering and generally having fun in the carpark were Sue Webster and Tim Noble fresh from their Australian sojourn, Tracy Emin being charmed by Abigail Lane’s master magician, Mike Figgis and Nathalie Press taking a punt on the Omni Escalado Stakes, Dinos Chapman, proud sponsor of Cedric Christie’s show stopping ‘Art-Rally’ Vauxhall Vectra Estate (see commissions page) and sticking betting slips everywhere to promote Chapman Fine Art’s new show (!) and all sorts glued to Mat Collishaw & Son’s peepshow (not for the faint hearted nor strictly prudish) plus much much more!

Do feel free to contribute any tales of high or low jinx…all material considered..

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